WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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