Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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