i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
