I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
