Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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