I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
