brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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