he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
