the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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