It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
