The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
two words: eviction party
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
