I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
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I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Thank you for not boning my boss.
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Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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