i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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