I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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