if only i could text you this smell
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
