I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
