perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
