Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
