All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
