If that was your dad, he is hot
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
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He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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