My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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