dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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