Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize