Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
