puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
