I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
