i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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