she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
