you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
