i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
