I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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