I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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