Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize