naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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