They should really pass out barf bags in church
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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