Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
