very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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