Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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