It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
