i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
