NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
