Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The struggles of a small town man whore
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
