I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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