This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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