Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
