When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
