my mouth tastes like poor choices
Where is the hickey?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
