I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
