take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
