1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
