If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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