Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
