I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
