Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize