I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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