R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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