My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
