I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
